How do you toss together words to explain a spiritual thing? As I have told people, using physical words to describe spiritual stuff will always fall short… and today is no different.
Today I sit, overwhelmed. Not really wanting to do anything but just ponder the day. Satisfied in a place of stillness with the presence of God, knowing that there is nothing I need to do to please the Father.
What happened?
Every meeting of our fellowship since it started has been marked by the arrival of the presence of God at some level. It seems to me that in every meeting, the Holy Spirit seems to have singled out one person to just rest on them in a thick, heavy way. This week, the Spirit decided it was my turn.
We try in our fellowship to emphasize the need for spending time alone, away from the gatherings to grow our spiritual life. But for all of us this week, myself included it was a week of distractions… tough plowing.
Now for quite a while, I have been aware of His general presence around me and I have felt it increase and decrease like a wave in the last couple of months. But, I have not felt anything like this in a long time.
At first, the small wave hit and then later in worship, it went over my head. Eventually, we ended, but after a little while everyone decided they wanted to jump back into the pool and keep singing. Oh my goodness, I think I finally have started to understand something that Suzi Yaraei once said about worship, “You need to learn to swim underwater.”
It’s been many hours now, and waves are still rising and falling like they have been before this…but it’s all higher, stronger than before.
Continuing.
I have told our people prophetically that we will need to learn to operate at higher levels of his Presence because that is his desire for us. But I guess in my foolishness I did not realize how wasted I would feel. Or should I say I have forgotten what it was like, for it has been far too long (decades) since I fell like this?
So today my mind fights with my spirit. One side can think of a pile of things I need to get done, the other side says “Be still, be silent.”
Part of me wants to jump and run, but the rest of me is wondering just how deep will his presence take me if I let it.