Ya need a Caboose
My wife’s grandfather was a retired preacher when he was alive. We would be somewheres, listening to someone when he would often lean to the side and whisper, “That preacher needs to put a Caboose on his train.”
After all these years I still think of his words and I have come to realize that one thing most preachers, teachers, and other public speaking Christian folk really need to do is learn to write and tell stories.
I have sat half awake more than once listening to fifteen-minute messages stretched like taffy into hour-long sermons. Recycling the same information over and over in an effort to appease the ticking clock has never seemed to be a wise tactic.
The most extreme word stretching I know contained less than five minutes of real information. The man speaking was a “pastor” who was really the vice president of a major east coast ministry. I felt sorry for the guy, he really did not have anything to give, but he had been roped into speaking at a conference.
Everything on his face told me that he had nothing and that he was just hoping to get through this awkward moment. With sweat coming down his face by the end, the worship team had finally clued in and started the music before the hour was up.
It really does seem like we are watching the march of clueless these days, pretending to have diamonds in their hands for the people. But in reality, they are offering them something far less. And that is too bad, for I suspect many could be offering something of value if they just were willing to learn.
I had to laugh.
One day I heard a story from a missionary who visited a rally in Lower Mexico. They had invited a speaker from Europe who needed a translator. The translator sat in a chair speaking into a microphone. After a couple of minutes, the translator just stopped and waited as the speaker continued. Aggravated the translator told everyone that the man was just pointlessly saying the same things over and over again, The Glory will come.” So the translator pulled out his Bible and told everyone that he was going to lead a bible study. And if this Gringo ever starts saying anything of value he would gladly stop and resume translating.
Today
Today was my day to get caught up. Working all week people send me videos of spiritual and physical things happening in the world. I don’t bother to look at them until I have the time unless a major event has taken place.
So this week I had three videos; a sermon, a world events update, and a report from a senior military leader, giving an inside look at Gaza that was sent to me from a shirt-tail relative who grew up in Israel.
One man said his sermon would only be 30 minutes but it became an hour plus. The world events were just as long and used computer-generated voices. And the military report was less than fifteen.
The sermon was good, but he really should have kept it at 30 as he kept adding filler. The world report could have been fifteen as they kept recycling the same information as the monotone computer voice spoke over and over.
And the military report was perfect. Condensed, filled with what you really needed with no fluff. All in all, a professional delivered a professional report. In this report, he delivered the information in the classic parts of the story. Because of this, you knew you had something of value as you listened.
Serving
Have you ever been to a restaurant where the wait staff had no idea how to serve? They get paid to show up, dress nice, and smile at the customers but they really have no idea how to get the job done.
Any message or report needs to have the issues clearly stated. Make the person listening or reading understand the growing problems and give them a course of action. If delivering messages in any form is something you do, and you wondering how to make things better then keep reading and consider what I say next.
Mad Libs
Man Libs is a fun, interactive book of silliness for you or a group. Once to have imputed all your required questions a very silly story forms. I would suggest playing this and then taking one of the best ones and expanding it. (click on the dog to get a copy)
Challenge yourself and expand your story to no less than ten thousand words. Doing this a few times should start your creative engine God placed within you. And once you have done these exercises off on on for a few months I am willing to bet your ability to tie a caboose onto your train will get easier and easier.
Now Mad Libs is only one of many tools you can try. Got a poem you really like? Form a back story for it and keep writing. How about a show you saw that you always wondered what happened to the people after the story was done, write it.
Want to stick with strictly biblical stories, good, take a person who was only mentioned once or twice and use that.
Either way, you can grow, you can do better. And just perhaps the people before you will fall asleep a little less.
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