Bitten by the Rabbit?

Cameron

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Cameron. Little Cameron was not especially unique in any form that one could detect. And in that way, he was often ignored.

One day, while walking through the forest, he found an open meadow, and in the pools of sunlight was a rabbit. He had heard about such things, but only at a distance. The softness, the colors of the fur, all called to him as he noticed the rabbit had no desire to run away.

Unsure, but excited, he drew close. To his surprise, the fur was pleasant, and even wonderful to pet as the little rabbit pressed its body into his hands.

Then, in a moment of surprise, the little rabbit lightly bit him. Not hard enough to cause concern, but surprising nonetheless. It was funny and seemed playful, so Cameron continued.

But then a scream, a yell, a jerk of his bloody hand. For the rabbit had sunk its teeth deeply between the thumb and index finger. Offended and shocked, Cameron jumped up. Pointing at the rabbit, he screamed and yelled at anyone who would listen. “The rabbit bit me!”

People wandered by, some took note, many ignored, for “how could something so lovely have done such a thing?”

Time passed, Cameron’s eyes softened as he desired to pet the rabbit once more, for how could something so lovely be so mean? Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe he imagined it? Over again, Carmeron screamed, and over and over again, he tried to pet the rabbit.

Like in the story of the little boy who cried wolf, people soon ignored Cameron’s screams. This troubled Cameron's mind, “for how can they not see how evil this rabbit is?”

So Cameron continued bleeding, screaming as people moved farther and farther away to ignore him. In desperation, he even offered his hand for the rabbit to bite as people passed, but the evidence he presented did not convince anyone.

End of Story.

So, who was at fault, the Rabbit or Cameron?

If you continue to sit in the place of wounding, how do you expect to get or stay healed? Many people have been “bitten” by the ministries that are now failing. Some hide it, some pretend they never had a connection. Others speak a little of it in safe places, and some warn others. And a few, like Cameron, seem to be forever addicted to a twisted form of justice that involves self-induced pain. What do I mean?

Before I answer that, let me add a bit of clarification in case someone gets the wrong idea. We absolutely need people who will expose the darkness and warn others. However, even these people will need to step away at some point. You can’t keep looking at evil, day in and day out, without it affecting your soul, spirit, and mind. It wears a rut into your soul and forces all other topics in life to follow the rut.

Have you seen the before-and-after pictures on the internet of men and women who went to war? I am willing to bet that’s what's happening to your soul!

A Confession

It may not seem it, but if you spend time reading some of the stuff I have written, I do try to limit what I say about my former employer. This is because, even after seven years, I know I am still “triggered” by certain words and things connected to Rick Joyner.

To date, I simply can not stand to listen to his voice; it produces an emotional response that tells me there are still problems. I have a couple of people who send me links to some of the rants he does from time to time. I never watch them. I was submerged in that ministry for over 15 years, with 7 on staff, and was a full supporter of his ministry and MFM. There is simply very little he could say at this point that would change my thinking.

So I walk a balance, I dip my toes in just enough to continue to write, and expose to warn people as needed. But I also CHOOSE to get as much distance as I can.

Because of all this, I spend time thinking and pondering far more on ancient forms of Christianity, as you can hopefully tell from the things I write. Pondering some of the elements of the Ancient Path, things like brokenness, repentance, and healing. Realizing that a humble spirit-filled life is like a cool lake away from this crazy city.

Our Current Culture

I am concerned about our culture. Ever since the IHOP expos started, and then the unending waves of other ministries breaking that followed. I see a lot of people walking through the process of shock, anger, and emotional reactions.

At some point, all these people NEED to step back and start the healing process; otherwise, I fear they will end up being just like Cameron.

I say this because there are people who have been bitten a very long time ago, and they can not walk away. They keep screaming at the problem so much that you can not have a normal conversation with them without them bringing up the same things over and over again.

And I really don’t want to be like that, do you?

Triggers

It seems to me that we, the walking wounded, have all got things like words that trigger us.

As I said in a previous post, “It’s ok to be a broken leader if you're honest. This teaches younger leaders that even brokenness can not keep them from the calling of God. One attitude creates a wall of stone away from the heart of the Father; the other builds a bridge of hope and possibility.”

I would rather not hide what is in me; I would rather people see the brokenness than some fake perfection for everyone to admire.

Not long ago, I watched a video from John Collins' YouTube channel, “Leaving the Message.” I only watched about half of it before I clicked away. John and his guest are not healed, but they think they are. It was obvious that their past hurts had left wounds so deep that certain words and even scripture trigger a response against modern ministries.

I finally clicked away when I heard them twist evangelism away from the power of God to only a knowledge-based conversion as being real. If conversions by the power of God are not valid today, then why did Jesus teach his people to do it? Why did his followers continue to work in the power of God and teach their followers to do the same?

Yes, Mr. Collins, there were theological errors made under William Brahnam and his cult. But under your thinking, it would seem that if any modern ministry uses even a hint of the same terminology, they are sharing the same sin as Brahnam. No… we are each responsible for our own actions. Stop judging by externals and learn to judge by the fruit of the ministry as Jesus taught us.

Is it not possible that at different points in our history, God brought forth a truth here or there, and that some manipulative leader took hold of it, warped it for his own use? And if that is the case, do we throw away the baby with the bathwater just because the wrong person touched the baby?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Brahnam. Each ministry will stand or fail on its own before the King.

Pain

Yes, pain has a purpose. But don’t let it redefine your relationship with Jesus. Don’t manipulate scriptures to protect your wounded heart. It’s the heart that needs transformation by the blood of Jesus, not the scriptures. The reality is, you become what you behold if you look too long. And if you make a ministry out of looking at, exposing the pain, how can it not take root in your soul?

The Story

In my story, the fault starts off with the rabbit, but it continues with Cameron. Cameron never learned to walk away, but the Rabbit should be held accountable for its actions.

Some people, in Cameron's case, justify their actions under the banner of “doing the right thing.” The problem is that the longer you do this, the longer it’s going to take to heal.

And Deep wounds take the longest to heal.